When You're Tired of Cleaning Up the Mess

Motherhood has surprised me.

I never imagined how much I would love to feel a tiny hand in mine, or how I would thrill when they want me—and only me.

I never realized how each child would bring a whole array of new experiences—new favorites, new skills, new firsts.

I never knew this level of dependence. How much their tiny selves require of me and how I can’t fathom my own life without them.

Of course, I also never knew how much poop could come out of a seven pound baby or how much pee could be sprayed around a bathroom by a three-year-old boy. I never realized how many times a child can watch the same episode of Mickey Mouse without losing interest or that my culinary skills would get such a regular workout—dicing hot dogs.

And I never anticipated that playing house would be so—repetitive.

I used to love to play house. I was the bossy mommy telling everyone what to do. (I was good at it!) But in real life, playing house gets old.

Didn’t I just wash this shirt?

Didn’t I just fold these towels?
Didn’t I just sweep this floor?
Didn’t I just unload/load this dishwasher?

Didn’t I just. . .

Some days, I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to put my feet up and pretend that someone else will take care of the mess. Because honestly, I’m tired of it. It’s not like it really matters. They’re just going to trash the place again. What’s the point?

My thoughts were running along those lines a few weeks ago as I ran my Swiffer Sweeper Vac (love that thing!) over the kitchen floor—again. But then my thoughts jumped to what I had read earlier that day.

I’ve been hanging out with the prophets lately. Isaiah, Jeremiah, Hosea…and while there are some encouraging nuggets (Lamentations 3 anyone!) there is an awful lot of the same, repetitive story...

My people refuse to obey.

They have chased after idols and made a mess of everything.

I’m about to come up in here and clean house.

Again.

(Lynn’s paraphrase)

All of a sudden, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that God never gets tired of my mess! I run away. I worship idols of my own making as I search for my significance in the approval of others. I expect the people around me to meet my every need and then lose my temper when they don’t.

I blow it.

Again and again and again.

But when I stand before Him, dripping in failure, He never says, “Why should I forgive you when you’re just going to mess it up again. Probably within the hour.”

Instead, nail-scarred hands reach for me and my Savior says, “I’ve got this. I cleaned up this mess a long time ago.”

And I return to my day, dripping in grace.

Again.

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Moms aren’t the only ones who need grace to get through the day. Regardless of what you’re facing, how would your world be different if you splashed around in grace instead of wallowed in defeat? Give it a try. There’s more than enough to go around!

One More Time

I usually only post once a month at The Write Conversation, but this month's topic required a two-parter!

So please join me, again, at The Write Conversation where we are talking about the "essential" items every writer should take with them when they head to a writers conference.

(And yes, I do consider my pillow to be essential ... )

Be sure to stop back by on Monday when we will dive back into our month-long theme of motherhood!

Motherhood does not make me special

For the month of May, I’m going to be focusing on motherhood—the joys and challenges unique to this particular calling. But before I do, I want to make one thing clear.

Motherhood does not make me special.

I know. Mother’s Day is in six days. (For the men who read my blog—and I really appreciate that you do—you have six days. Get cracking.) I’m all in favor of taking a day to honor mothers.

But there are a lot of women who are not mothers. Some by choice. Some by circumstance. Some okay with it. Some heartbroken.

I live in the kind of place where the norm is for a girl to go to college, get married, work for at least a few years, and have some babies.

And I said the norm not because that’s what every woman does, but because that seems to be the expectation.

Now, I’m not going to talk about how any woman should be content in her singleness. Or how any woman should be patient as she waits for a child she longs to hold. I wouldn’t go there because if I did, any one in those circumstances could point to me and say, “What do you know about it?”

And they would be right. I met my husband at nineteen. Got married at twenty-three. Had our first child at twenty-eight. Then quit my job as engineer to stay home with her and the little brothers who followed.

What I am going to talk about it this…motherhood does not make me any more special than any other child of God. My role as "mom" does not grant me special access to God or endow me with super-sensitive spiritual hearing. I do not believe that motherhood provides some sort of inside track to closeness to God or that God keeps special “behind the scenes” insights that are for parents only.

God uses whatever circumstance we find ourselves in to reveal Himself to us.

For me, He often uses the triumphs and challenges of motherhood to speak to my heart. But for you, it might be the joys and frustrations in your work environment or the difficulties that your neighbors present on a daily basis. If you're a single woman over the age of 21, it might be the aggravation of dealing with that friend of your mother’s who wants to know when you’re going to “find you a good man to settle down with” or asks “isn’t it about time you had a baby” every time you see her.

(Side rant: So help me, the next time someone says that, I’m going to throw a New Testament at them and ask them if they’ve ever read the part that says it’s better not to marry. I know some singles who are changing the world for the Kingdom and all anyone can do is wonder why they aren’t married. Burns me up. OK. Rant over.)

So…I’m inviting you—single, married, widowed, divorced, lots of kids, no kids, male, or female—to join me this month. My theme may be motherhood, but my desire is not to make you wish you were a mommy, too.

It’s to encourage you to long to know your Savior more.

Join me?

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Are you taking the Joy Dare with me? Since November 1, 2011, I've counted over 600 graces...
May 7th - Three gifts about your home...The view from my bedroom window; the soft carpet upstairs; the people I share it with

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Writers Conference Essentials

It's the first Thursday of May so I'm over at The Write Conversation. I'm talking about the essential things you need to take to a writers conference.

Essentials.

Like chocolate.

I'd love for you to stop by and say Hi!

Mindful Mondays :: Are you scared?

Do you ever find a verse in the Bible that makes you do a double-take?

You read it. Then you read it again. You wonder if it really means that in the Greek or Hebrew or Aramaic or well, any language, because you just don’t see it happening.

I ran across just such a verse last summer as I read through Psalms. It’s bugged me ever since.

I lead a life that, compared to most of the world’s population, is easy. There’s plenty of food to eat, clean water to drink, and safe air to breathe. I spend most of my days in a comfortable home with appliances that wash my clothes and my dishes, cool or heat the air (sometimes both in the same day), and cook my food.

I go to sleep to the sound of a ceiling fan and an ocean waves app that runs through my husband's iPhone. And I have no reason to believe that gunshots or bombs or roving bands of terrorists will interrupt my slumber.

I live a life that is unimaginable to huge numbers of the human race.

But I still worry.

I have a generally positive outlook on life. But there are the big what ifs that make my blood run cold. What if someone I love gets sick? What if my kids don’t follow the Lord? What if they mess up their lives? What if…what if…what if...and that's where Psalm 112:7 comes in and messes with me.

"He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord."

I’ve tried to ignore this verse, but the Holy Spirit keeps bringing it up.

I asked if it’s possible that this particular psalmist suffered from a serious case of hyperbole. (Short answer - NO).

I wondered if ‘bad news’ in the Old Testament was like a hangnail or a bee sting. A quick check of Strong’s concordance shot that idea down. Turns out what the ESV renders as “bad” is a word that is more often translated as “evil”. So it’s even worse than I thought.

But I couldn’t leave well enough alone. I checked the rest of the words in the verse. Turns out that word “firm” can imply a sense of readiness.

In other words, “He isn’t afraid of bad news. He’s ready for it.”

Mercy.

I am encouraged by one thing. There’s no glossing over the fact that some news is bad. Being a fully committed follower of God doesn’t mean we pretend all of life is a hot fudge sundae with a few strawberries thrown in for fun.

We don’t have to act like our mom’s cancer diagnosis or our dad’s job loss or our child’s rebellion is no big deal. We don’t have to paste a smile on our face and act like it’s all good.

Some news is bad.

But you do have a choice. You can live in fear of it, either before or after it arrives, or you can get ready for it.

How?

You get to know the only One who already knows what’s headed your way. You hang out with Him. You learn from Him.

And the more you do. The more you’ll trust.

And the more you trust, the less you have to fear.

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What do you plan to do this summer to get to know Jesus better? Have you thought about it? I’m working on my summer blog schedule - is there a topic you’d like me to cover? Let me know in the comments!

Are you taking the JoyDare with me? My list of graces given grows here.
April 30 ~ A gift given, made, sacrificed:: A note of encouragement, lunches for all, time


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Book Review :: Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman

I'm a fan of a lot of things.

• Chocolate
• Watermelon
• A medium-rare filet mignon
• BLTs (Has anyone else noticed that I'm a fan of food?)
• Clemson
• Duke (yes, it is possible to like Clemson & Duke)
• Anyone playing for Team U.S.A. in the Olympics
• NCIS
• The Big Bang Theory (the show, not the actual theory)
• The Bourne Trilogy
• The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
• The Star Wars Trilogy (hmm...seems I have a thing for trilogies...)

Fans are great. They root for their team. They watch their shows. They consume every imaginable variety of their favorite foods.

But there's a line somewhere between "I really like it" and "I'm so crazy about it that I'd give up/do anything for it" that most people never cross. (Those who do wind up at Star Trek conventions or show up at midnight release parties...um...wait...scratch that last part...I've done that before. Drat.)

Anyway...if you'd asked me a few months ago if I was a fan of Jesus, I would have said, "Yes. Absolutely. Huge Fan. One of the biggest. Love that guy. He's Awesome!"

But after reading not a fan by Kyle Idleman, I have to say that I am not a fan and I'm not interested in being one.

What I am interested in is following Jesus.

I actually know a thing or two about what can happen when you do that. And folks, it's not always pretty.

And that's what not a fan is all about. It's a wake up call to people who "want to be close enough to Jesus to get all the benefits, but not so close that it requires sacrifice."

Here's what I loved.

1. I found it very entertaining to read. There are quite a few references to and examples from pop culture that you rarely find in a "Christian" book. I think I would enjoy hanging out with Kyle Idleman. The footnotes were a hoot.
2. I appreciated his honest approach. He's not interested in introducing you to a Jesus who is going to make all your problems go away. He's showcasing the Jesus of the Gospels who said "take up your cross and follow me."
3. I found his examples both informative and convicting. He uses stories from his personal life, as well as "not a fan" stories at the end of each chapter to highlight his points.
4. I thought the book was written in a very accessible style. It would be a great choice for a teenager/young adult, or a very grown up adult who doesn't love to read.

Here's what bothered me a little.

1. He walks a fine line between grace and works, and at times, I felt he crossed a bit too far into the works category. I don't think he was trying to preach salvation by works, but I can also appreciate the fact that James (lots of works) and Galatians (lots of grace) are both true. I'm not sure if I'd be comfortable handing this book to someone who was either very new to the faith or already in bondage to legalism.
2. There were a couple of things that I felt were actual mistakes - a few geography and Scriptural quotes that weren't quite right and that put me a bit on guard as I read.

With that said, I would still recommend not a fan. It's a good reminder of the life Christ called us to - of what it looks like to be a completely committed follower of Jesus.

Not just a fan.

So tell me....are you a fan of not a fan?

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Mindful Mondays :: Rejoice Until You're Glad

Today’s blog post was supposed to be about something different.

But that was before the day ran off the rails.

I had big plans for this day. Some writing, some housework, some exercise, some laundry.

I even made plans to get my day off on the right foot. I went to bed a little earlier than I wanted to. I set my alarm for earlier than I wanted to. And I knew how I would be tackling the day’s list as soon as my feet hit the floor.

I did not plan for my feet to hit the floor at 3:30 a.m.

Or at 4:30 a.m.

I did not expect the “quiet time” I planned for 5:45 a.m. to include a fussy baby. Or for my early bird toddler to ask to play Starfall at 6:10 a.m.

Today I feel inadequate. So very much not enough. So frustrated by a day that refuses to cooperate.

So I took my aggravation to the only One who really gets it, and what did He have to say?

“This is the day that I have made. Rejoice. And be glad in it.”

Why He made a day this messed up is beyond me. (I asked. I think He chuckled. I’m so glad He loves me even when I’m being a smarty pants).

And honestly, I still feel on the edge of a breakdown. I’m tired. The scale didn’t move as much as I had hoped it would. The bills still have to be paid. The laundry will not fold itself. The baby’s going to wake up soon and he’s still going to be cutting four teeth at once.

But…

• My husband thinks I’m doing a great job.
• My kids do, too.
• My coffee tastes just right.
• My sins are forgiven.
• My standing before God is not dependent on how much I do today. It isn’t even dependent on my attitude or my behavior. I’m secure because of what Jesus did for me.
• And, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Maybe I can even rejoice until I’m glad.

Has this Monday morning got you down? Take a minute and write down a few things you’re thankful for. A few things that are good and glorious. (You can start with the fact that you are breathing if you’re having a hard time coming up with anything.) And then if you feel like it, share a few things with me in the comments. I’d love to hear about what gives you a reason to rejoice!

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I've been updating the Joy Dare page. It's hard to stay grouchy when you count graces. Gladness stalks me with each line...

I'm looking for three gifts reflecting today...I'll post them when I find them...I know they are out there!