Several months ago, I wrote a piece about the importance of being prepared to put into practice whatever you blog about. Probably within twenty-four hours of your post.
It happened again.
I think I might be afraid of my own blog.
If you didn't read last Friday's post, you'll need to or this won't make much sense. Here's the condensed version: September hasn't gone according to my plan so I'm giving up on the plan and taking life a day a time and leaning on God's perfect plan for my life.
Um, yeah.
I woke up at 5AM on Saturday morning, spent the next 4 hours in the ER and the next 3 days on the couch.
Several people who had read the blog on Friday commented on the irony. Believe me. As I was sitting in the ER, it occurred to me that maybe I should have waited one more day before telling the world (OK, the 30 or so people who read my blog) that I was confident that God's storyline for my life was better than anything I could come up with.
'Cause let me tell you, at 5AM on Saturday morning, I wasn't buying it.
It hasn't come up on Out of the Boat before now, but I am 16-weeks pregnant.
And when I woke up Saturday morning, I didn't think I was pregnant anymore.
There's nothing quite like that kind of terror to make you question whether or not God's storyline is all that great. I can't tell you what this post would be like, or how long it would have been before I managed to post anything, if Baby #3 wasn't alive, kicking, growing and causing me tremendous heartburn and occasional nausea.
Needless to say, the events of the weekend have stopped me in my tracks.
I've been told to take it easy. No heavy lifting, no housework, nothing but the bare minimum - for the rest of the week.
Since I've been laying on the couch instead of hunched over my computer, I've had a lot of time on my hands to think about things.
I wouldn't say I've learned my lesson, but goodness knows I've lived it.
When the waves got rough this weekend, I can't say I stayed on top of the water.
But I can say that I was never alone and that when the waves threatened to drag me under, He was there.
So, once again, I'm here to tell you that I have no plan. I'm taking it a day at a time. I'm trying not to worry about the little life growing inside me. I'm not going to worry about contests I won't be able to enter, or books that may take an extra few months to complete.
I'm trying not to fight the change in my plans.
Trying to look at the bright side.
And trying to live out what I believe.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil,to give you a future and a hope.Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.(ESV)
4 comments:
I love Jeremiah 29:11-13.When times are really tough, it sure helps to know that He has a plan and it is for good.
I have always found that when God takes over my plans, it's a wonderful blessing in the end. He has far more above and beyond all that I could ever ask or think of. ;) I'll keep you in my prayers as you rest with that little package of love growing within! (PS ~ When I had really horrible heartburn with my daughter - I'm talking curled up in a fetal position on the floor after downing four TUMS - it turned out I needed to have my gall bladder removed.)
Congratulations on that new precious life you're carrying. And I'm praising God with you for His divine protection. You know, even though I--like everyone else--want my way and my plans to come to pass, I know that I know that I know that He always has the better plan. Too bad I don't always trust it.
Praying for you, sweet little mama.
My dear friend, now I know why you've been brought to mind so often this week. I pray having to be still in the midst of "so much to do" will be an easier surrender than it normally is and that He'll continue to remind you that He is good and wants good for you. I'm sorry for you scare, but grateful you and baby are doing okay. Praying. Love.
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