Monday, January 31, 2011

Profoundly Annoying

Is it just me?

It seems when I’m in the dumps, feeling defeated or am thinking about throwing in the towel, everyone around me is on a spiritual upswing.

Does this happen to you?

I want to whine. They encourage.
I want to wallow. They point out all the great things going on in my life.
I want to wail. They make me laugh.

Recently, I had a bad day. Well, not really a bad day. A bad couple of hours. Which, when you look at it in black and white, seems ridiculous to complain about. But I’m pregnant and hormonal and I had worked myself into a crying puddle of misery.

It’s embarrassing how often this happens.

I let my husband know about a disappointment I had just suffered. I was trying to be tough, and not let on how much it hurt. I didn’t fool him and after a few minutes of him sending me encouraging texts and me replying with whiny texts, he sent this:


I think ur exactly where God wants u 2b . . . which may differ from where u’d like 2b.

Profound isn’t it.

Profoundly annoying—that’s what it is.

Especially when I can’t dispute the truth of the words.

So often, where I’d like to be is clearly not where He wants me to be. Who knows why? Maybe I’m not ready to be there. Or, taking the focus off me (I know, novel concept), maybe there are others who aren’t ready for me to be there yet. God’s timing is perfect. And not just for me. But for those I love. My husband, children, friends and family.

Taking it further—what if there are people I have yet to meet, people who God intends for me to minister to in some way—who I’d miss if I jumped ahead to where I’d like to be?

Taking it even further—what if I never get “there”? What if the journey I’m on doesn’t take me “there” but “elsewhere”?

Gulp.


If you’re waiting on a brilliant answer to these questions, I can’t help you. I don’t have one!

I’m just hanging out here.

Exactly where I’m supposed to be.

And learning to live in daily surrender to the One who knows where I’m headed.


image courtesy of photobucket.com
Reactions:

3 comments:

Just Writing said...

Um, have you been reading my mind? Sometimes I find myself skipping over the blogs written by Christian women cause they seem to be so holy and perfect with nary a wrinkle in sight while I'm in the pits. I'm with you, I don't have the answers either. Thank God we know the One who does and sometimes, that's all that counts.

Edie Melson said...

Oh Lynn - God always uses you to speak (write) truth into my life. It doesn't matter whether I'm reading your blog or something you've written somewhere else your insight and transparency is a gift!

Lynn said...

Just Writing -I agree - I'm so thankful we know the one who knows - it makes all the difference!

Edie - Thank you. You've spoken (written) so much truth into my life in the past year! I'm so thankful I can call you my friend!