Tuesday, August 21, 2012

First Day Fears

First day of 1st grade
Tomorrow is the first day of third grade for my sweet Emma, so I decided to revisit something I wrote two years ago—on the first day of first grade (isn’t there a Veggie Tales song in there?).
**For those of you who might not know, Emma was born with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome. As is typical of our RTS-sweeties, her speech is significantly delayed.**
From August 2010…
I was doing OK until it was time for me to leave her. Emma gave me this look that, to me, said "I'm trying to be brave . . . but I don't know about this, Mommy."
I almost lost it.
These are the days when having a child who can't—not just is reluctant to—not just that it's like pulling teeth to get the info—but that cannot tell me about her day could drive me insane. Or maybe to order a peppermint mocha.
I would give anything to know what she is thinking, feeling, and wondering.
Does she understand that school is back in for the year? Does she know that she's going back tomorrow and the next day and the next? Does she wonder where her teachers from the last two years are and why the classroom is different? Did she enjoy her day? Was everyone nice to her? What was her favorite part of the day? Her least favorite?
These are the questions that I never get answers to.

Emma - 2nd Grade Awards Day
So I take them to One who knows the answers. And I beg Him to communicate with her little heart and ease any anxiety she may be feeling. And to give me wisdom to know things I couldn't otherwise know. To show me when to intervene and to give me the good sense to stay out of the way when she's got it under control (as she usually does!).
It helps me to remember that He loves her more than I do.
And that He is holding her safely in His arms.

(As you can see...she not only survived, she thrived!)
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2 comments:

Cathy Baker said...

I have no doubt sweet Emma will thrive in third grade as well. :) I will be praying for her (and for you). I look forward to hearing about her first day.

Susan Stilwell said...

Aww, so sweet! I remember those days... mine are both in college now, and the time FLEW by!

Enjoyed your post at Jamie's site today, Lynn!