Unsettled

Hosea 10:12~ Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the LORD, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you. (ESV)

I hesitated to post this today for two reasons.

1. It’s such a First World Problem. Are you familiar with this concept? The Urban Dictionary defines it this way…Problems from living in a wealthy, industrialized nation that third worlders would probably roll their eyes at. You’ll see what I mean as I go on.

2. It’s too fresh. In general, while I may start writing about something as it is happening, I usually wait to post it until it’s had a cooling off period. Not this time. I’m living this today. But, it won’t leave me alone, so maybe someone else needs it. Today.

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I’ve been waiting eighteen months to do this. To finally take our house—which currently looks like a lovely place that we just moved our stuff into—and turn it into our home.

A home with furniture that goes in the space and art that means something to us. A home where my books line the walls in bookshelves built by my dad. A home that reflects who we are as a family.

I’ve been waiting eighteen months to really make this ours.

It’s happening!

There are rugs, cool lamps, a great mirror, new furniture, and eleven patches of different paint colors in the dining room and bathroom. It’s fabulous.

And it’s driving me insane.

(First World Problem: losing my mind over what color to paint one of my four—that’s right, I said four—bathrooms).

By Sunday evening, my mood had tanked. The rugs don’t match anything—yet. And what kind of sick madman decided there should be fifteen different shades of pale blue gray? How am I supposed to pick one?

(First World Problem: Redecorating the formal dining room—yeah, a space with a table and eight chairs that we use about once a month—is giving me a migraine).

I know some people thrive in this environment. People like my decorator—who is awesome and is having a great time and isn’t the slightest bit rattled by the fact that the rug may have too much blue in it.

I am not one of those people. I don’t like change. I don’t like disorder.

I do not like being unsettled.

I don’t want the old. I do want the new.

But I don’t want to live through the messy transformation.

Of course, this isn’t just about redecorating the interior of my house.

It’s about redecorating the interior of me.

God “moved in” a long time ago. Salvation made me a new creation (justification). The old passed away and the new came!

But the renovation process (sanctification) is a messy one. Sometimes God strips away my wallpaper, pulling away ugliness so He can replace it with something beautiful.

Sometimes God builds in something new. Where there once was a blank place, He adds something of character and distinction.

He’s the ultimate Interior Decorator turning me into a showpiece for His glory.

Truth is, I say I want it, but I don’t like it. I know I’m not perfect. But changing is messy and time consuming. It’s embarrassing to have my imperfections put on display or to realize that some piece of me that I’ve been okay with has been an eyesore for a decade.

I don’t like to be unsettled, but that’s exactly what God is asking me to be. In my home and in my life, He’s breaking up the old and planting something new. There are parts of me that haven’t been touched in a while and He’s not going to leave them alone.

I’m His. And He wants my life to reflect who He is.

He wants the same for you.

It’s time to break up the fallow ground.

It’s time for something new.

Will you let Him redecorate your world? Will you let Him expose your weaknesses and replace your ugliness with something beautiful?

He’s ready.

Are you?

Isaiah 43:19a ~ Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? (ESV)