Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Blue Ridge Wednesday

What a day.

Even as I type this, I'm not sure if I can adequately describe it.

I've been a little frustrated with myself this week. I'm having a great time, meeting people, learning tons, networking, discovering that while I am every bit as weird as I had suspected, so are a lot of other people!

But for some reason, God has felt distant. Or I've felt distant. Or something.

The worship here has been great, but I haven't felt the way I frequently do during worship. I'm a crier and I haven't even come close to shedding a tear.

I've been praying, soaking up the messages, but still, something was missing.

Until this morning.

I was getting ready and I could feel the tension increasing as my neck and shoulders were tightening up. And I hadn't even made it to breakfast yet.

I never did.

I opened my Bible, still a bit frustrated with my apparent inability to "feel" close to my Abba during this oh-so-important week, and I said, out loud, "I wish I could just find this Psalm". I've been thinking about it for weeks but over the past couple of days, I could not remember where it was. I wasn't even 100% sure it was a Psalm. It might have been a Proverb.

I opened my Bible at random, into the Psalms. And just started reading. And then, some underlined verses on the right hand side caught my eye.

Psalm 138:8-The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.

The elusive Psalm. Right there. Opened to at "random".

I'll spare you the details of the next fifteen minutes. But my Abba & I had such a sweet time together this morning.

There was a lot of crying (which is why I didn't go to breakfast).

But there is also so much peace.

I've been so hesitant to say that "I am a Writer" and even more hesitant to say that I have been "called" to write. It seemed . . . presumptuous? bizarre? impossible?

Uh-oh. I'm about to start crying again.

Because I am.

I am a writer.

I am called to write.

That doesn't mean I'll ever be published. As I heard from DiAnn Mills this afternoon, God's calling to write does not come with a publication contract!

But that's OK. I don't write for publication or for my fame or for people to be impressed by me.

I write for Him.

I write to spread His fame.

I write so people will be blown away by how awesome He is.

I write.

And He will fulfill His purpose for me.
Reactions:

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your earthly father always defers to your heavenly father. I do,however, love you very much and believe in you absolutely. KHH

Lynn said...

I wouldn't know what a relationship with my heavenly father is supposed to look like if I didn't have such an awesome earthly father! I love you too!

Jason said...

Such a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing it.

Sharon A. Lavy said...

Great post. I also got my affirmation at a Christian Writers Conference a few years ago. Our enemy doesn't want us to write for God. So he tells us our desire to write is frivolous and not worthy.

But we are called to write for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. Our writing is dedicated to him. And it is not worthless.

Keep Writing!

Anonymous said...

Now I'm crying. JLH

Angela Folds Fox said...

Such a joy to meet you at BRMCWC, Lynn. Are you on Facebook? Please find me there. I'm listed as Angela Folds Fox.

ErynnNewman said...

This is great. Thanks for the reminder.