Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Want More

There are a couple of things I really want.

I'm not talking about the way I really want a mocha, or a slice of pizza, or to weigh less. Although, let's face it, the mocha and pizza aren't helping the weight issue at all. Neither is my Oreo addiction. But I digress.

I'm talking about big wants. Life-changing wants. The kinds of things that would impact me and my family for years.

And I want them bad.

Sometimes I shy away from admitting I want things. Even when what I want is good and God-honoring, I still have the notion that the "wanting" is wrong.

But I don't believe the wanting is where I stumble.

God created us to have dreams and desires. They are not inherently evil. They are, however, frequently misappropriated.

I stumble when my dreams become demands or when what I want becomes what I must have to be happy.

While I haven't always been able to say this, at this time in my life I can honestly say that while I do want some big things, there is one thing I want more. So much more that it trumps all my other dreams and longings.

I want Him more.

I only want what God wants me to have. And I don't want anything enough to step out of God's will to have it.

Will I be disappointed if what I want doesn't happen? Yes.

Will I be disappointed in God if what I want doesn't happen? No.

I want Him more.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:4-5 (ESV)

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