Coming in last.
I hate it.
Really hate it.
Maybe you do, too?
Have you ever thought about why you hate it?
I have and I’ve boiled it down to a simple statement.
I’m afraid.
Ick.
It’s safer to say that we hate to come in last. It doesn’t sound quite as pitiful as admitting that we’re all grown up and we’re still shaking in our boots.
Afraid we will fail.
Afraid people will think less of us.
Afraid we’ll make an idiot out of ourselves.
Afraid we’ll blow it so badly that others will be able to see our weakness.
For the past year, I’ve faced this fear every single time I walk into Five Forks CrossFit.
For the first three months, I was so nervous that my stomach would do somersaults from the time I woke up until the WOD was over. In my mind, I had no business joining a CrossFit. I was out of shape, overweight, and not in possession of any particular athletic prowess.
Truth be told, in the first few weeks, there were multiple events that tempted me to turn tail and run.
- My first week, I fell off a box and messed up my wrist. I came in last.
- For the first month, if the WOD (workout of the day) included burpees, my coach automatically cut the number in half for me. I still came in last.
- As new people joined our box, I watched as they went from not having a clue to killing the WODs. All while I continued to come in last.
- Particularly frustrating were the women, the pregnant and/or brand new moms with 6-week-old babies at home, who lifted more, ran faster, jumped higher, and finished way before me. The girl who finishes last.
Guess what? It’s been a year and I'M STILL COMING IN LAST! Not every time, but a lot of the time.
But guess what else?
