Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Enough of Me

There is not enough of me today.
Today begins in the deep dark
When muscles lay heavy and frozen in the middle of a dream
Driven away by the call of “Mommy” and unrecoverable,
Even after the little one sleeps again in dry pajamas.

The day looms long as I lay back on my bed and pray
Until daylight filters under the door and the little one returns to cuddle.
The phone rings too early and the princess sleeps too long and I already know that
There is not enough of me today.

Laundry covers the room like confetti shot from a cannon.
Bills wait to be paid, messages to be returned, floors to be swept.
I’ll never finish today and the list in my mind swirls
While the little ones and I pretend to be dogs searching for imaginary bones.

The princess wakes miserable and the pretend puppies have to wait to play tag.
They don’t like waiting and everyone tries to snuggle in one chair
Spilling over the sides and bumping heads and noses.
There is not enough of me today.

I grab a shower and the only clean clothes available are gym clothes.
There is way too much of me and the irony is thick as
I leave my room to find the little ones tag-teaming an entire box of cookies.
They sit with chocolate rimmed mouths watching too much TV.

No one wants lunch so I grab bites of leftovers while I unload the dishwasher.
Diet experts say to sit down with each meal and focus on each bite.
I’m sure they are right but it’s not an option because
There is not enough of me today.

The baby spills water and pours out chips.
The little one whines and complains about cartoons.
The princess alternates between lethargy and activity.
The day wears on and I lean harder into grace.

In the middle of my mess, in the middle of my tears
His strength never fades, His compassion never runs dry.
When I falter there’s no condemnation, only His whisper,
“There is always enough of Me today.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 ~ But he said to me, "My grace is sufficent for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (ESV)

These songs have been on repeat in my head today...


Cathy Baker said...

Are you a poet? Loved this post!

Deb said...

Beautiful, my dear! You really pulled me into this one. Loved the poignant twist at the end. Good message and reminder.

Lynn Huggins Blackburn said...

@Cathy - I love poetry - especially yours! I'm no poet, but the recurring line kept popping up so it seemed to fit. I'm sure I broke every poetry rule out there! Thanks for stopping by!
@Deb - Thank you!!! I'm so glad you liked it!

Lori Stanley Roeleveld said...

Amazing piece!

Marcia Chadwick Moston said...

Lynn, This is BEAUTIFUL Such poignancy in pain and so well said.

Lynn Huggins Blackburn said...

Lori and Marcia - Thank you. I'm honored.