Thoughtful Thursdays ~ Hit Send

When I left the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in May of 2010 I overflowed with writerly confidence.

My manuscript had received a positive critique. The words "you're almost ready" had been uttered. I left with marching orders . . . to submit fiction proposals to three agents and one editor.

And I intended to.

As soon as I incorporated all the changes that I now knew I needed to make to my novel. I expected it to take a few months. And it did.

Five months, in fact.

And then life happened. A lot of life.

One planned pregnancy suddenly included many unplanned complications. One wanted new home brought with it much unwanted drama.

And five months turned into six. Then seven. Then twelve. Then fourteen.

Somehow, I had become one of "those" people who never submitted the material that was requested at a conference. It was embarrassing.

And it was too late.

Or was it?

My dear friend and mentor, Edie Melson, said submit. She pointed out that the worst they could say is no. (And let's face it, the odds of that happening are high regardless).

So on Tuesday, I hit send.

I've received emails from two of the people I submitted proposals to. They didn't say "too late" or "this would have been awesome if you'd sent it in a year ago" or "sorry, Charlie."

They said, "Got it. Gonna look at it. We'll be back in touch."

And I thought it was too late.

So what's the lesson here? You can't win if you don't play.

Or in writing terms, you'll never be published if you don't submit.

I'm not expecting to hit a home run my first time at bat. I know rejection is coming and I'm not looking forward to it. I'll need chocolate, and lots of it, to get through this.

But at least now I'm in the game. I'm not sitting on the sidelines "hoping to be published" but not taking any steps to make that dream a reality.

So what are you waiting for?

Did you attend Blue Ridge, Southwest, ACFW, Writing for the Soul, Mt. Hermon or any other conference and did someone ask you to send them a few chapters or a proposal? Did a faculty member suggest you query a certain agent?

It's not too late.

Hit send.

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Thoughtful Thursdays ~ Book Review: Under A Desert Sky

Some of the first “grown up” books I can remember reading were in the historical fiction genre. “Prairie romances” I think they’re called now. These days, I still love reading books set in a different time, where the plot and characterizations are influenced by the mores of the day and both time and place are used to add dimension to a fantastic story.


And I recently read a great one. Under A Desert Sky counts as historical fiction because it’s set in pre-World War II New Mexico. It counts as a romance because, well, there’s love in the air. And, it counts as suspense because it opens with a murder and ends with . . . well, you’ll have to read it to find out. Trust me. It has a twist.

So we’ll call it historical romantic suspense. In my opinion, the best of three worlds!

DiAnn Mills set Under A Desert Sky at Ghost Ranch after she spent some time there a few years ago. Eva Fortier, our heroine, is on the run after witnessing a grisly murder. She hopes to find safety. What she finds is a whole new way of life . . . and love.

But nothing is as it seems. And nothing is easy. With a compelling setting, fiery characters, racial tension, challenged faith and blossoming romance, Under A Desert Sky will keep you turning pages long after you should have gone to bed.

Well, maybe you have more self-control, but that’s what happened to me.

****
Extra! Extra! Anyone who’d like to hear from DiAnn about how she got the idea for Under A Desert Sky can check out this interview with Alton Gansky from the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference website.

Disclaimer: DiAnn Mills sent me this book, and included me in the acknowledgements, neither of which she needed to do. I didn't actually "do" anything - just put her in touch with someone who could help. She in no way expected a review on this blog.

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Blue Ridge from Home - Focus on Nonfiction Wednesday

Wednesday.

At Blue Ridge, everyone is settling in. The newbies are learning their way around campus. The veterans have reconnected with old friends and made new ones. Everything is in full swing. They'll be challenged this morning with a devotion and some time in worship.

So before we dive in, let's take a few moments to worship.

Put on your favorite worship CD, flip on the radio, crank up your iPod or . . . if you want to get in the full Blue Ridge spirit, check out Janet Roller's site. Janet Roller lead worship last year and is leading it again this year. She's got an amazing voice and a very sweet spirit. There are three songs on this link you could listen to as you . . .

Focus on Nonfiction.

Here's a list of of faculty members who teach/critique/represent nonfiction as well as those who focus on public speaking. As in yesterday's post, I've tried to provide links to all the websites associated with each person. If there's a link associated with both the name and the description, those are two different links - click on both! If you click on a link and it takes you to the Blue Ridge website, then you'll need to click on the 2011 faculty page and scroll down to their info because they included A LOT of links!

There are many nonfiction options that are very accessible, even to the brand new writer without experience or platform. (Remember, tomorrow we're talking about submitting and nonfiction may be just the place for that...)

Michelle Adams - Freelance Writer
Shelly Ballestero - Editor/Author/Professional Speaker
Linda Canup - Editor, In Touch
Michelle Cox - Writer
Eva Marie Everson - Writer
David Fessenden - Editor/Writer
Andrea Gutierrez - Editor, Thriving Family
Eddie Jones - Publisher
Terri Kalfas - Bible Studies, Hensley Publishing
Susan King - Editor, The Upper Room
Dr. Samuel Lowry and Timothy Lowry - Publishers, Ambassador International
Edie Melson - Assistant Director/Writer
Karen Moore - Editor/Agent
Vonda Skelton - Writer/Public Speaker
Rick Steele - Editor, AMG Publishers
Cecil Stokes - Film Maker/Director
Craig von Buseck - Editor/Writer, Ministry Director for CBN.com
James Watkins - Writer/Editor
Terry Whalin - Publisher
Carla and Josiah Williams - Publishing/ Marketing

As we did yesterday, let's leave some comments. Find anything that caught your attention? Share it with the group.

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Blue Ridge from Home - Focus on Fiction Tuesday

Tuesday.

At Blue Ridge, the conferees are heading to continuing classes and workshops. The paid critiques and meetings with agents and editors begin today.

Let's take a moment to pray for everyone who is about to lose their breakfast or lunch over the prospect of having their "baby" shredded to confetti and for those who didn't eat anything and now have the shakes just before they sit down for their first agent meeting.

And let's not forget to pray for those faculty members who are giving the critiques and meeting with prospective clients. They are people too! And they aren't in this to be mean. Their goal is to help aspiring writers succeed.

OK.

So what are we going to do today? Let's focus on fiction.

I've split the faculty up in a way that makes sense to me. Some could go in the nonfiction list as well but I'm not doubling up.

Here's a list of of faculty members who teach/critique/represent fiction.

If you look at the faculty listing on the Blue Ridge website, not everyone has a website listed. So, in this list, I've tried to provide links to all the websites associated with each person.

If there's a link associated with both the name and the description, those are two different links - click on both! If you click on a link and it takes you to the Blue Ridge website, then you'll need to click on the 2011 faculty page and scroll down to their info because they included A LOT of links!

Clear as mud? Great!


Many of these websites have fabulous writing tips. Have fun!

Sandra Bishop - Agent, MacGregor Literary
Caleb Jennings Breakey - Writer
Jonathan Clements - Agent, Wheelhouse Literary Group
Mike Delosso - Writer
Adrienne Gaines - Editor, Charisma House
Aaron Gansky - Writer
Alton Gansky - Writer/Conference Director
Julie Gwinn - Editor, Pure Enjoyment
Gina Holmes - Writer
Dr. Angela Hunt - Writer
Yvonne Lehman - Writer
Nancy Lohr - Editor, JourneyForth; Focuses on writing for children
Sarah Sper McClellan - Agent; Folio
DiAnn Mills - Writer
Deborah Raney - Writer
Romona Richards - Editor/Writer
Nancy Rue - Writer; Focuses on children/youth
Dr. Linda Seger - Screenwriter
Dina Sleiman - Editor, WhiteFire Publishing
Les Stobbe - Agent, Writer, Editor
Christy Lee Taylor - Film Producer, Abba Productions
Dr. Donn Taylor - Writer/Poet
David Van Diest - Agent, D.C. Jacobson and Assoc.

I'll be honest. Typing up this list made me rather gloomy for a while. What a list! The agents. The editors. The phenomenal authors. The collective creative talent at Blue Ridge is astonishing.

Sigh.

But this brings us to....
Tuesday Night!

Let's have some fun. Watch a comedy...a movie, a sitcom, a YouTube clip...whatever you've got time for.

Then leave a comment about anything particularly intriguing you found on the websites and tell us what made you laugh tonight. We aren't sitting together in the cafeteria or main meeting room at Blue Ridge, so we'll have to use the comments section to share our experiences.

Have a great first day everyone!

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Blue Ridge from Home - Monday

I've been thrilled with the positive response to the Blue Ridge from Home Conference.

I wish this blogpost could be full of all the things I've done in the past week to prepare...sadly, I've got nothing.

The pedicure? Didn't happen.

The new outfit? Fat chance.

But, I'm not giving up. Nasty stomach viruses and mountains of laundry notwithstanding, I'm determined to proceed. One advantage to feeling too crummy to do anything except lay around means that I have more time than usual to hang out with my laptop.

So, for all you Home Conference attendees...remember that Monday is go for a drive day...grab that mocha, tea, or milkshake...the point is to take a few mintues to enjoy something that makes you smile. If you have a Starbucks nearby, you can get a half price frappuccino from 3pm-5pm...so you have no excuse!

There's no moping allowed this week. We aren't at Blue Ridge, but that doesn't mean we aren't exactly where God wants us.

So celebrate that fact!

Leave me a comment and let me know where your drive took you!

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Blue Ridge from Home

The Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference begins May 9th. So many of my writer friends are going that my emails, Facebook and Twitter feeds buzz with all the preparations.

I AM SO JEALOUS!!!

(And yes, that was me yelling).

OK.

I'm better now.

I am.

And I have a plan.

Just because I can't go, doesn't mean I can't use my time wisely. So for my friends who, like me, will be hanging out at home this year, I offer you my Blue Ridge from Home Conference Schedule. Feel free to modify it for your own use.

The week before: Purchase a new outfit and get a pedicure . . . priorities people!

Monday - Go for a drive. It takes me approximately two hours to get to Ridgecrest. As tempted as I will be to drive up there, I will instead drive to my local Starbucks and purchase my favorite writing beverage - a tall, decaf four pump mocha.

In case you don't know, that's a mocha with EXTRA chocolate. I'm going to be down in the dumps and in Lynn's Logic, chocolate makes everything better. Therefore, extra chocolate makes things extra better.

Tuesday - Focus on Fiction. I write fiction. I love fiction. So I'll spend some time perusing the writing advice available on the websites and blogs of the faculty members.

Tuesday night - Watch a comedy. Vonda Skelton will be speaking at Blue Ridge and the schedule says it's Faculty Talent Night. Everyone will be laughing. Might as well join in the fun.

Wednesday - Focus on Nonfiction. Same as Tuesday except specifically searching out the faculty members who are teaching non-fiction classes.

Thursday - Submit something. Now this one is tricky for me. I'm a little busy these days. But I think by the time Blue Ridge rolls around, I could have a devotion or two ready to submit for publication. (Famous last words).

Thursday night - Go out to eat. The banquet will be Thursday night. If I'm going to be in the spirit of things, I think this is an important step!

Friday - Focus on Social Networking. Everyone will be saying their goodbyes, sharing business cards and promising to keep in touch. So I'll be sending friend requests and following more writers on Twitter and adding more blogs to my blogroll. And I'll be sure to update my own blog!

Now, as is true for all conference schedules, this schedule is subject to change. I'd love to hear your suggestions for ways to attend BRMCWC from home.

Anyone care to join me? It's not too late to sign up!

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My Hypocrisy Knows No Bounds

Hyp-o-crite:
1. A person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion.
2. A person who acts in opposition to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.

I am a hypocrite.

I’ll give you a few examples.

• I’ve been known to shop at the health food store . . . and then run through a McDonald’s drive-thru—and not to order a salad.
• I’ve been known to set up a budget . . . and then ignore it for, um, well, a while.
• I’ve been known to snap at my husband . . . on the way into church . . . hmm . . . ok . . . that one just happened this week. Let’s move on.
• I’ve been known to yell at the pokey driver in front of me . . . on my way to Bible study.
• I have been known to blog about something . . . and then live my life in direct contradiction to what I’ve written.

It’s very frustrating.

And it’s been very obvious in my spirit in the past few weeks. You see, the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference is fast approaching and many of my writer friends are planning to go.

I feel left out.

Many of them have had great success in the past year. Agents have been obtained, articles have been published, books have won awards.

For others. Not for me.

I can’t seem to stop the feeling that hits the pit of my stomach each time a fellow writer passes a milestone I have yet to reach. Can’t shake the sense that I’ve been given a taste of something delicious and now have to watch others enjoy the feast.

My “good Christian girl” side knows that this is an issue of trust. She knows that God is sovereign. She knows that God’s timing is perfect and that His purposes and plans will prevail. She knows that whatever God wants for her is for her ultimate good and His ultimate glory. She has blogged about this very thing here and here.

You know what the “much more irreverent” side of me says to that?


Yeah, yeah, whatever.


I’ve been rather ticked off about the whole thing. I’ve fumed and fussed and thrown quite the spiritual temper tantrum.

God probably should’ve knocked a knot on my head for my behavior. I’m still not sure why He hasn’t. Maybe He’s cutting me some slack considering that I haven’t slept through the night in almost eight weeks. Maybe He recognizes that the current “shower of blessing” I’m under has come very close to drowning me and I’m just now keeping my head above water—most days.

Maybe Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father and quietly intercedes, “She’s mine. I died for her.”

I am a hypocrite.

But I’m a saved hypocrite. I’m a loved hypocrite.

I’m a forgiven hypocrite.

Psalm 32:1, 2 and 5 - Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity and in whose spirit there is no deceit…I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. (ESV)

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Finished

image courtesy of photobucket.com
Several weeks ago, when everything seemed to be falling apart, I was sitting at my desk praying. And I felt strongly that I needed to read Psalm 119. I can’t say that kind of thing happens to me all the time. But it did this time.

Psalm 119, for those who may not be familiar with it, is very long.

I read but nothing “grabbed” me. I continued reading, feeling dutiful. Until verse 76 popped me between the eyes.

Psalm 119:76 – Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant. (ESV)

Now, if that verse didn’t give you chills, I can understand. It seems like a verse I would normally have read and just kept on going.

But when I read it on this particular afternoon, my mind immediately went to a verse I have quoted over and over since my writing life began.

Psalm 138:8 – The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. (ESV)

I sat at my desk stunned.

And comforted.

Nothing had changed. My circumstances remained chaotic. My plans lay in ruins. But my heart felt secure.

So, as the rest of the month disintegrated around me, I thought God had shown me that He had other plans. And I was okay with that.

But regardless of whether the manuscript was going to be submitted for the contest or not, the revision still had to be completed before I could do anything else. So I pressed on.

When I had the “opportunity” to spend the day in bed last Sunday (as in, the nurse said stay in bed all day), I wrote. All day.

And as of today, the re-write is done. By done, I mean, done for now. We all know nothing is ever truly done. But, the manuscript is finally in a place where I can submit it to the agents who requested it at Blue Ridge.

I sent my contest entry off an hour ago.

I’m under no delusions. I don’t think I’m going to win the contest. I don’t think I’ll even place. And that’s not put-on false hypocrisy. That’s a writer’s reality. I’ll probably need to write for quite a few more years, churn out several more books, attend quite a few more conferences and learn more than I ever imagined existed about the craft of writing, before I’ll finally produce a manuscript that is publishable.

But finishing in time to submit to Operation First Novel was important to me. And sometimes God, in his steadfast love, reminds us that He knows where we are. That He knows what is important to us. That He gives us our dreams. That He keeps His promises.

There is no logical explanation for the fact that I finished today, just a few hours before the deadline. If September had been “normal” I might have thought I had done this in my own power.

As it is, there is only one thing I can say.

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. (Eph. 3:20-21 KJV)

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Why am I doing this?

I’m currently in the midst of an intense revision of my manuscript.

It is NOT fun.

I have to force myself to do it. 

I keep finding excuses to do everything else.

Maybe I should whip up a blog post? Great!

Clean the bathrooms? Absolutely! (Um, not really, but sometimes the idea is appealing).

Revise? Blech.

Why? Well, revisions require concentration. They are somewhat devoid of the creative release that comes from writing the first draft. (Don't anyone yell at me. I didn't say they were devoid of creativity - just the easy flow of the creative process when it's all rushing out and you can't type fast enough. There's no "fast" typing in a revision.)

Plus, I'm a perfectionist, so the whole time I'm revising, I'm irked that I didn't do it "right" the first time. Never mind that I know I didn't know what I was doing the first time. Or that I know that no matter how  many times I look at this, I'll always find something to tweak.

Regardless, I stay perpetually annoyed with myself. Which is no fun for anyone.

There's no other way to put it.

Revisions are hard work.

One part of my revision process is to search out all the passive verbs in my manuscript and, in most cases, change them into active verbs.

I’ll give you an example (from the first paragraph of Chapter 11, in case you’re curious).

     His hands were shaking and his palms were sweaty.

(If grammar was a long time ago, or just not your thing, the passive verbs are “were shaking” and “were sweaty” - well, technically the passive verb is "were" and "shaking" and "sweaty" are adjectives, but you don't really care, do you?)

This sentence will now read (probably, unless I change it again):

     Todd's hand shook as he reached for a napkin to dry the sweat from his palms.

Now – honestly – did this change the sentence much?

No.

Would I have noticed the passive verbs until I took Angela Hunt’s class at Blue Ridge, or until Edie Melson pointed out how many (57!) I had in Chapter 7 alone?

No. Not a chance.

So, what’s the big deal? Who cares?

Well, apparently, publishers care. Editors care. Agents care.

Passive verbs are just one of the hallmarks of amateurish writing. And eliminating them is a big step in moving your writing from “this person has no idea what they’re doing” status to “there might be hope for this author” status.

But there is another reason.

A far more important reason.

Because I do not write for an agent, an editor or a publisher.

I write for an audience of One.

And even if no one outside my closest circle of friends ever reads a word of this manuscript, it needs to be my best.

My very best.

He deserves nothing less.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got approximately 1500 passive verbs to eliminate.

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Blue Ridge Friday

Don't worry. I'm not confused.

I know the conference ended Thursday.

Technically.

But I think it may take a few weeks to get back to normal.

My husband and children were so glad to have me home. They had flowers and a plan for supper that did not include cooking! I so appreciate their - OK, Brian's - sensitivity and understanding that I was worn out. And he knows when I'm exhausted, taking supper off my hands is guaranteed to make me happy!

I got home, got unpacked, played with my little ones, watched TV with Brian and went to bed earlier than I have in a week.

But now it's Friday.

This may not make sense to anyone who wasn't at Blue Ridge, but I feel weird.

Not, I'm a writer so I'm weird. I feel that way all the time.

More, I'm a writer. Holy cow. Now, how do I make that work into my life? And what should I do first? Should I work on my plot skeleton for my next book? And I want to type up all my notes so I can firmly plant them into my brain.

But wait, I've got to tweak the beginning of my manuscript and get it sent out. Pronto.

I also need to clean the bathrooms.

Ugh.

I hate cleaning bathrooms.

I was warned that post-conference depression is normal.

I wouldn't say I'm depressed. But I can feel myself coming off the conference "high" and I'm not sure the return to reality is going to be a totally smooth transition.

It's only taken me several hundred words to figure out the one word I need to describe how I feel.

Overwhelmed.

When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, You knew my path. Psalm 142:3 (NASB)

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Blue Ridge Wednesday

What a day.

Even as I type this, I'm not sure if I can adequately describe it.

I've been a little frustrated with myself this week. I'm having a great time, meeting people, learning tons, networking, discovering that while I am every bit as weird as I had suspected, so are a lot of other people!

But for some reason, God has felt distant. Or I've felt distant. Or something.

The worship here has been great, but I haven't felt the way I frequently do during worship. I'm a crier and I haven't even come close to shedding a tear.

I've been praying, soaking up the messages, but still, something was missing.

Until this morning.

I was getting ready and I could feel the tension increasing as my neck and shoulders were tightening up. And I hadn't even made it to breakfast yet.

I never did.

I opened my Bible, still a bit frustrated with my apparent inability to "feel" close to my Abba during this oh-so-important week, and I said, out loud, "I wish I could just find this Psalm". I've been thinking about it for weeks but over the past couple of days, I could not remember where it was. I wasn't even 100% sure it was a Psalm. It might have been a Proverb.

I opened my Bible at random, into the Psalms. And just started reading. And then, some underlined verses on the right hand side caught my eye.

Psalm 138:8-The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.

The elusive Psalm. Right there. Opened to at "random".

I'll spare you the details of the next fifteen minutes. But my Abba & I had such a sweet time together this morning.

There was a lot of crying (which is why I didn't go to breakfast).

But there is also so much peace.

I've been so hesitant to say that "I am a Writer" and even more hesitant to say that I have been "called" to write. It seemed . . . presumptuous? bizarre? impossible?

Uh-oh. I'm about to start crying again.

Because I am.

I am a writer.

I am called to write.

That doesn't mean I'll ever be published. As I heard from DiAnn Mills this afternoon, God's calling to write does not come with a publication contract!

But that's OK. I don't write for publication or for my fame or for people to be impressed by me.

I write for Him.

I write to spread His fame.

I write so people will be blown away by how awesome He is.

I write.

And He will fulfill His purpose for me.

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Blue Ridge Tuesday

Random things I am loving about my conference experience.

My room has no TV.

So far I've eaten meals with Steven James, Angela Hunt, Deb Raney, Vonda Skelton, and Karen Schurrer (an editor).

My room has a radio that came equipped to play music from my mp3 player.

The coffee shop here serves Starbucks.

The vending machine on my floor takes credit cards.

I've known at least one person in every class I've attended.

The worship time is phenomenal.

Everyone is friendly and supportive.

The food has been great - far better than I expected in a cafeteria setting.

If you happen to find yourself walking beside faculty members, they talk to you. As if they are just normal people and not bestselling authors :-).

My room has wireless access so I can type this in my pajamas.

Good night!

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Blue Ridge Monday

Wow!

I have had an awesome day.

I managed to get appointments scheduled with all the agents here, so if nothing else, I'll get lots of practice making my pitch.

I'm taking a continuing class taught by Angela Hunt - which means I get to absorb about 6 hours of writing instruction from a master. She's fabulous. She also gave us homework.

I had lunch with the editor here representing Bethany House and now I can send in a proposal (you can't do this unless they request it - well, you could, but they won't read it).

Then I had my critique. And walked out on a cloud! DiAnn Mills is no slouch in the writing world. She's won tons of awards and she judges contests and she's a mentor with the Christian Writer's Guild. And she thinks my book has serious potential.

Picture me - goofy grin - trying to be all cool as I realize she's not going to tell me to go home and delete all my files. 

Granted, if I do everything she suggested it will mean a major-league re-write. But no one ever said this was going to be easy. And, given that I just started writing 14 months ago, I think it is fairly fabulous!

I'm having a great time.

Now, if you'll excuse me . . . I need to do my homework!

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Blue Ridge Sunday

So. I'm here.

I met some lovely people in line during registration - several of whom I had already met online. It's been fun to put faces to names. And I continue to be humbled and amazed at God's goodness. He has placed people in my life that have helped me prepare for this week and I am so thankful!

I found my room with no trouble and even managed to find a parking space that tilts ever so slightly down and has a curb - I do not trust Brian's parking brake so this gave me extra peace of mind that I wouldn't be the one known as "that girl whose car went down the mountain in the middle of the night."

Of course, in true "newbie" style, I managed to get lost.

Really.

Picture it. Me. Tote bag over my shoulder. Wandering the halls of a building looking for an exit, and then eventually just turning around and going back out the door I came in and wandering in what I hoped was the right direction.

I did eventually find the building I was looking for - totally by accident.

Since then, it's been pretty busy. I've had a class, dinner, and got to hear Jerry B. Jenkins - who it turns out is very funny. I didn't expect to laugh so much.

So, that was Sunday. Now to get ready for Monday.

Ah. Monday. When the fun really begins. Tomorrow I have my critique and my first appointment with an agent.

I'm going to lie down.

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Preparations

What a week!

I'm doing laundry, buying groceries for two weeks, trying to think of every possible scenario that might present itself while I'm away and prepare for it in advance, doing laundry - oh, I already said that. Well, there's enough laundry to deserve a double mention.

On the writing front, I'm almost ready. I'm afraid to say I am ready, because I don't want to jinx it, and because it sounds cocky and because it isn't true.

I'm as ready as I'm gonna get.

That's more like it.

But all this preparation and angst - I'll be away from my family for 6 of the next 8 days - got me thinking.

Scary, I know.

I got to thinking about how Jesus might have felt as he prepared to leave the disciples. Now, Jesus, being God and knowing everything, could have just been like "Oh, they'll be fine" and left it at that. But Jesus, being human and experiencing everything we feel didn't do that. He asked the Father (you can look it up - John 14) to send the disciples a Comforter who would stay with them (and us) forever.

Now, in my case, I know my children will be fine. They have a wonderful father who is more than capable of dressing, bathing and feeding them. They'll have a blast since they get to hang out with Grandma and Aunt Jennifer the whole time. So I'm not worried. I'm not. Quit laughing. I. Am. Not. Worried.

But think of what Jesus saw when He looked at his disciples. Talk about children. Children with the spiritual maturity of a five year old on a good day. Children who couldn't seem to stay out of trouble. Children who needed Him. Desperately.

And He saw us. Two thousand years later. Often with the spiritual maturity of a three year old on a bad day. Children who need Him desperately.

So the Father sent the Comforter. And Jesus sits at the right hand and intercedes on our behalf. Because while He is not here physically with us, He loves us. He misses us. He longs for the day when the Father says "Go" and He can bring us to where He is. Forever.

I have some friends who are hurting today. They've recently lost fathers and grandfathers. They celebrated Mother's Day, knowing it would be the last time they got to do that with their mom on earth. They've gotten bad news from test results and the future looks grim.

I've been there. I know the ache and confusion of wondering why God doesn't fix this or that.

I don't have the answers.

But I know my Jesus. And I know He loves us.

I know that the love I feel for my children is a fraction of the love He feels for us.

And I know that as much as I would never leave my children without preparing them for my absence, my Savior prepared us to go through life without his physical presence.

I know the Holy Spirit is present, praying for them when all they can do is cry. I know that Jesus is interceding on their behalf. I know that the Everlasting Arms of the Father are wrapped around them even as they feel like their world is crumbling.

I know He is holding them - and me - tight in His mighty hand. And there is no safer place to be.

Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet, I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. (Isaiah 49:15-16a ESV)

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Two Weeks

So, the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writer's Conference (talk about a mouthful) is two weeks away.

Two.

Insert Darth Vader theme music here. Extra points if you add in the heavy, ominous breathing for the full effect.

Are you getting the idea that I'm starting to panic?

You would be correct!

So, in order to distract myself from the things I should be doing - like polishing my one-sheet and practicing my elevator pitch - I've been thinking about a few things missing from the conference preparation.

Keep in mind, I've never been, so maybe I'm wrong.

For example, when perusing the class schedule and realizing I need to clone myself at least eight times in order to take every class I want, I decided there is one class that they really need to consider adding.

Goal Setting for the Fiction Writer - this class will help you set realistic goals, both for your writing and your life. Topics covered will include:

• You cannot complete a manuscript, edit, polish and prepare a full fiction proposal for said manuscript, while also polishing and preparing a proposal for the one completed manuscript you have in the three months prior to the conference. While your hero is able to hunt down the bad guys and save the girl on three hours of sleep, you are a grouchy, ill-tempered mama when you don't get at least seven hours. Take it slow sister. One manuscript at a time, thank you.
• You cannot lose ten pounds in three weeks. While your heroine may be 5'2" and 110 pounds and prefers to drink French roast coffee - black, you, my dear, are a 5'3", slightly heavier than 110 pound southern girl with an addiction to sweet tea who only drinks coffee loaded with sugar, milk and chocolate. There is a Liquid Highway less than two miles from your home and you drive past it twice a day, five days a week. Given the stress levels inherent with conference preparation . . . honey, you don't stand a chance.

And then there's the matter of "what to expect" at the conference. Our Yahoo group has seen post after post regarding proper attire (side bar - most of these are from women - the guys don't seem fussed about it) and tips on how to be organized. I've seen great suggestions for wearing flat shoes (lots of walking) and carrying breath mints (don't want to fry that uber-agent's eyebrows off).

But there have been a few suggestions that no one has offered and I can't imagine why. For example:

1. Do not, under any circumstances, order spaghetti or fried chicken. Do I really need to explain this?
2. Do not wear white. Although, if you adhere to tip #1 you might be able to get by with it.
3. Do pack at least two changes of clothing for each day because as soon as you go to breakfast, you are going to spill tea down your pants or dribble syrup on your shirt (note - add pancakes and french toast to the "do not order" list). Moments after this event, you will come face to face with the "ONE EDITOR YOU'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO" and you'll have huge sweat rings under your arms by the time the conversation is over because the whole time you're trying to pitch your devotional or romantic suspense novel you'll be wondering if that editor has noticed that it looks like you have a bladder control issue and you want to explain about the tea but you don't want to call attention to it on the off chance she didn't notice. Bottom line, you'll need to change clothes at least once, maybe twice a day. Be prepared.
4. Carry dental floss, Kleenex and a small mirror with you at all times. Pop into bathrooms frequently and check your teeth and nose. You don't want to be all confident because you just delivered your best pitch ever, only to walk into your room and realize there's a poppy seed (note - add poppy seed muffins to the "do not order" list) stuck in your teeth or a booger hanging out of your nose. I'm just stating the facts here, people. It has happened (see one of my favorite blogs - the ScribbleChicks - if you don't believe me).

Thankfully, my caffeine and chocolate powered imagination has already come up with all of this and I'll be the best prepared newbie there! Whoohoo!

Unless . . . all those other newbies stepped away from the mochas and actually spent their time preparing for the conference. You know by praying. And having their one-sheets, synopsis, first chapters and proposals all critiqued, maybe even several months ago. And by praying. And reading books written by the faculty members. And praying. And memorizing the bio of every agent and editor who will be attending. And praying.

Two weeks.

Uh-oh.

I think I'll start with the praying. Feel free to join me.

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Monday Morning

So, it's Monday. 8:45 A.M.

I've already changed four diapers - two of which I probably should have been wearing a hazmat suit for - and apologized to two three people.

I'm on a roll!

Last week was crazy. But wonderful. I got to spend most of it with my dad, which was awesome. And, we tore out all my downstairs carpet and replaced everything. This is not the time for me to go on my "I hate carpet" rant. Trust me when I say that ripping it out was a cathartic experience!

The downside to last week was that I did absolutely no writing or editing. I also got way behind on email, voicemail and facebook (hence the apologies of the morning). Oh crud. When I finish this, I'll have to apologize to someone else - I missed a meeting. Drat.

Anyway. As I am new to this whole "I am a writer" business, there was one unexpected benefit to having a week made up of mostly manual labor and no time or energy for writing.

My creative brain is overflowing this morning!

While I was tearing out carpet, cutting boards, measuring walls, painting molding, spackling (I think the word "spackle" is cool - go ahead and laugh) - I managed to work out quite a bit of the plot of my next book. In fact, I'm going to have to take a few minutes this morning and jot down some notes so I don't forget all lovely plot twists I thought of last week.

Maybe taking a week to do something totally unrelated is a good idea.

Of course, a check of the calendar indicates that I have exactly 20 days to finish polishing my manuscript, perfect my elevator pitch and one-sheets, by some new clothes (that part might not be a requirement, we'll call it a perk) and lose 10 pounds (hey, I write fiction).

I need to do all that while keeping my children and husband clothed and fed, visiting some potential classrooms for Emma next year, coordinating some teacher appreciation stuff (yep, I'm the room mom), promoting the CDS Fun Fest (June 4th - mark your calendars) and making a run to Vanderbilt for my sister's graduation (go Jennifer - you rock!).

Could someone PLEASE schedule me a massage?

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