I need to remember who I was.
And this was - and often still is - a tricky spot for me.
Because by human standards, I wasn't that bad.
I accepted Christ as my Savior at the age of four. What's the worst I had done? Refuse to share my crayons?
Other people have testimonies of amazing life transformation, overcoming addictions, turning from a life of crime or promiscuity.
My testimony is B-O-R-I-N-G.
- I got saved.
- I never got in trouble.
- I love Jesus.
- The end.
But please note that earlier I said "by human standards." Because if I only think about how I measure up to those around me, I'll totally miss the point.
I am a sinner.
My list of offenses is long and it grieves the Holy heart of God. My transgressions, while not "flashy" are, in their own way, darker and more insidious than the ones that get shared and shouted about on testimony night at the camp meeting.
It's not often you hear someone share about how God has forgiven them for their pride. For their lust. For their greed. For their anger. For their self-sufficiency.
Some sins just aren't popular to talk about.
Because some sins are just way too popular.
How is it possible? How are some sins tolerated? Overlooked? Ignored? My guess is because we aren't allowing the Holy Spirit to renew our minds. We think we're okay and we don't need to change.
I heard this statement in a sermon recently and it has been branded on my soul.
Some of us are unable to appreciate God's grace because deep down . . . we think we deserve it. (Jason Malone, Southside Fellowship, 9/25/11)Before you brush that off, dwell on it for a few minutes. Let it sink in. Because you know it's true.
Have you forgotten who you were?
Are you living your life under the notion that you deserve God's grace?
How would your life be different . . . if you remembered?
Father, help us remember who we were. Give us hearts that beat with the deep recognition of our hopelessness and helplessness and desperate need for your grace.